Pain is Real, but so is Hope.

The last time I posted was the beginning of last month. I shared my thoughts and feelings about how my perspective on certain aspects of my life have been changing, and that has continued onto today. Since the holidays have come and gone and the new year has started, I have felt a roller coaster of emotions. Happy, sad, angry, confused, conflicted, contentment, hurt, and joy…just to name a few. The holidays were a bittersweet time for my family and me as it was the first year without my Grandma. Fortunately, I have great a family and friends who where there to help me through that hard time. The new year hasn’t started the way that I planned for it to go. A few things are different and not in the way I want them to be. Through this experience, I have come to realize how much I truly value my friendships and relationships. You shouldn’t have to go through life alone, and friends are a vital part of that process. Though some friendships are stronger than others, it’s important to do life with several friends and not just one or two. Each person can bring something different into your life and to me, that’s important.

I’ve also come to realize that while friendships are important, it’s also necessary to spend some time with yourself. That can be in many different ways, such as reading a book, catching up on some TV shows, getting a massage, coloring a picture, or even taking a hot bath. I have actually recently joined a book club and have started reading this book called “The Kind Worth Killing.” Yes, I know…the title sounds crazy, but it has actually been a really good book so far! I’ve started to get back into working out more regularly, which is not only good for my health, but will also help with the level of anxiety I have been experiencing lately. Finding time and ways to spend by yourself is a way for you to center yourself and refresh yourself mentally. What are some things that you like to do while spending some time alone?

That leads me into hobbies and things you enjoy; it’s important to find ways to enjoy your life. I love dancing and I wish my schedule would allow me to dance more, but I enjoy the little time that I do get to attend dance classes. I also love to sing, rather that’s in the car, at home, in the shower, or coming up with duets with a friend. Those two things are my passions in life, outside of being a Nurse. I also enjoy riding my bike, reading a good book, working out-even though I’m always sore the next day, going on an adventure and trying a new restaurant, going to the movie theater, and even just hanging out in good company. So let me ask you, what do you enjoy doing?

As I mentioned earlier, I have been experiencing a higher level of anxiety than usual lately, and it’s because I care deeply about a situation that is occurring in my life right now. I’m not sure I want to talk about the situation, but I mention this to bring up some ways I have been dealing with this anxiety. If you would have asked me how I’m doing in a situation like this a few years ago, I would have told you that I’m crying myself to sleep every night and I go throughout my day feeling like I can’t breathe. Fortunately, since then, my anxiety does not reach those levels because 1) I don’t allow it too and I have power over it, and 2) I have ways to manage and deal with it. Now I’m not saying there hasn’t been a few tears shed and a couple moments of heaviness in my chest, but those pass quickly because I remind myself that I am not dying and while this situation is important to me, it is not the end of the world. The sun will come up and set, and then come up again-God willing. So I just have to wake up, take a deep breath, and smile because God woke me up today. When things feel hard, I just have to remind myself that God will work this out for me and pray every step of the way. Distractions are also helpful, such as listening to some music or watching a movie. What are some ways you cope with anxiety?

There’s not really an exact purpose for this post other than a way for me to just to put some of my thoughts on paper (or the screen you’re reading this from) and to remind you that even though pictures posted on social media may look happy and status may come across as joyful, you never really truly know what someone is going through behind closed doors. With that being said, be kind to everyone and show love to one another.

“Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it only takes away today’s peace.”

“Be gentle with yourself, you’re doing the best you can. “